English is Crazy Language

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English is a crazy language.
한국어 : 영어는 미친 언어다.
日本語：英語は、狂った言語です。
繁體中文：英語是瘋狂的語言。
简体中文：英语是疯狂的语言。

English is a crazy language.

There is no EGG in EGGPLANT nor HAM in HAMBURGER; neither APPLE nor PINE in PINEAPPLE. ENGLISH MUFFINS weren't invented in ENGLAND. QUICKSAND can work SLOWLY. BOXING RINGS are SQUARE, and a GUINEAPIG is neither from GUINEA nor is it a PIG.

And Why is it that WRITERS WRITE but FINGERS DON'T FING, GROCERS don't GROCE and HAMMERS don't HAM? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make AMENDS but not one AMEND? if TEACHERS TAUGHT, why didn't PREACHER'S PRAUGHT? If a VEGETARIAN eats VEGETABLES, what does a HUMANITARIAN eat?

In What other language do people RECITE at a PLAY and PLAY at a RECITAL? we SHIP BY TRUCK but SEND CARGO BY SHIP. We have NOSES that RUN and FEET that SMELL. We PARK in a DRIVEWAY and DRIVE in a PARKWAY. And how can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your HOUSE can BURN UP as it BURNS DOWN. in which you FILL IN a form by FILLING IT OUT, and in which an ALARM goes OFF by going ON. And, in closing, if Father is POP, how come Mother's not MOP?